Here Comes Goodbye
by kdzl
Summary: A series of unrelated one-shots for JJ leaving the BAU. Each will be themed after a song.
1. Wasted

**Author's Note**: Here is my tribute to CBS writing AJ Cook off the show. I know, lots of people have done this already, but I don't really care. This will be a collection of unrelated one-shots of JJ leaving the BAU.

Wasted

_I don't want to spend my life jaded, waiting_

_to wake up one morning and find_

_that I let all these years go by wasted._

_-Carrie Underwood_

He was vaguely aware that JJ sat down across from him. Tearing himself away from the paperwork in front of him, Hotch looked up and smiled at the blonde agent misinterpreting her unease as regret for not finishing her own paperwork, "You know as well as I do that you spend more time doing paperwork than anyone else." He attempted to console her.

She smiled, her eyes filled with something that Hotch could only identify as slight regret with quiet determination. "JJ?" He asked again.

Wordlessly, she handed over a piece of paper. His eyebrows shot up in surprise as he glanced at the paper, the words _resignation_ and _effective immediately_ reverberating in his mind. "What is this?"

"When Spicer's daughter was taken—do you know what I felt?" She asked after a moment, deciding to forego any attempts at dodging the issue. Truthfully, she had been thinking about this for a while, but the last case was the icing on the cake. She just couldn't do it anymore.

Hotch's questioning look told her that he was waiting for her to continue.

"I didn't feel anything. I thought of the next press releases, the interviews, and everything else I had to do." She explained, feeling all the more sure of her decision.

"I don't understand." He admitted, clenching his jaw in frustration. The BAU had become his family, the people that knew him better than anyone else in the world. And now, an integral part of that family was just giving up.

"Do you remember what you told me once? I said if I stopped caring I was jaded, if I cared too much it could ruin me." She asked, hoping that he could push aside his feelings of betrayal and understand. This job—it had become a part of her. And now she wasn't sure she liked the person she saw in the mirror.

"I said that it was still better to care." The flash of memory struck him like a ton of bricks.

"I don't want to live my life jaded. It's not fair to Henry. It's not fair to me." She explained sadly. "I want you to know, this is one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make."

"We will miss you." Hotch pushed down the thought that yet again, another person in his life was leaving. But looking at the younger woman, he realized that she had the strength to do something he had never been able to do. She had the strength to walk away.

"What will you do?" He asked, accepting the paper and folding it neatly in his pocket.

She laughed lightly and ran her fingers through her hair. "I think Will is going to faint with joy. We might move, or I might get a job with a PR firm. Either way, it's time for me to do what's best for my family."

Thinking back, Hotch couldn't point to one moment where he knew that the job was eating away at his soul. He thought back to all that the job had cost him—his happy family life, the moments with his son that he could never get back, his wife—and he couldn't fault JJ for having the strength to walk away.

Maybe if he had the same strength, his son would still have a mother. But that was a thought for another day. Now, he could easily recognize the anticipation in the woman in front of him, hoping for approval.

Smiling softly, he nodded to show he understood. "If you ever need anything, let me know."

JJ's broad grin was nearly infectious. "Thanks."


	2. Always Be My Baby

"_You'll always be a part of me, _

_I'm a part of you indefinitely_

_Boy don't you know you can't escape me,_

_Oh, darling, because you'll always be my baby."_

_-Mariah Carey_

* * *

"How is he?" Will's soft drawl sounded in her ears as he clamped his hand comfortingly on her shoulder. Henry didn't even stir as his parents talked softly at his bedside.

JJ didn't bother to look up from her son's sleeping frame. "He's still asleep, it's over." She shrugged as she tucked a stray lock of hair behind Henry's ear. "Thankfully."

Will sighed as he sat down on the 'Lightning McQueen' themed bed. "Jayje, it's going to be okay." He placed his hand comfortingly on her free hand. "We'll take him to the doctor, and it will be alright."

"No." She ripped her hand from his quickly. "It's not going to be okay. Will, our baby—"

"Has a condition." Will interrupted, trying to placate JJ. He could tell she was frazzled beyond belief, and his heart broke for the woman he loved.

"He had a seizure, Will. A seizure!" JJ gasped, utterly horrified. Watching her baby boy shake uncontrollably with his muscles completely tense had left her completely terrified for her son. "Another one. This isn't the first time." She could feel the tears quickly trailing down her cheeks while she made no move to stop them.

"Jayje, millions of people suffer from epilepsy." He comforted despite the feeling that settled in his own stomach. "Henry's just got something he'll need to learn to deal with."

"He shouldn't have to deal with it." JJ choked out as tears cascaded down her cheeks. She wiped them quickly with the back of her hand before looking back to Will, "How could this just happen?" She asked.

Just then, her phone rang—buzzing familiarly with a detective's frantic message pleading for help.

Both of them looked at the interrupting device, cursing the electronic for its intrusion on their family crisis.

"Are you going to get that?" Will asked while biting back the smart comment he felt at the tip of his tongue, well used to the device that seemed to constantly tear her away from their family.

JJ looked at the phone, a symbol of yet another thing that was wrong with her life. She should be able to be there for her baby and be the mother that Henry deserved; instead she had detectives that had no comprehension of proper times to call her.

"Well?" Will prodded as her phone continued to buzz away. She had never before simply ignored a call—no matter how inopportune the time, she always answered.

Always.

Pushing _Ignore_, she looked up at her boyfriend. "I think some things are more important, don't you?"

Will's jaw dropped slightly, shocked. Nodding slowly, he looked at the mother of his child in awe. "Does this mean-?" He couldn't even dare to hope. JJ's job was like an impossible chasm between them, and though it felt like there was a bridge that allowed him and Henry access to her heart, sometimes he felt like the bridge was only made of frayed ropes in desperate need of repair.

"It means I'm quitting. I'll talk to Hotch tomorrow." She smiled softly as she looked back at her still sleeping son. "There's something more important for me to take care of."

_

* * *

_

"I will linger on,

_Time can't erase a feeling this strong_

_No way you're never gonna to shake me_

_Oooh Darling because you'll always be my baby."_

_-Always Be My Baby (Mariah Carey)_


	3. Jesus Take the Wheel

AN: Alright, I know JJ's gone, and actually I was at least _mollified_ about her departure. But, I just wanted to finish this out. This will probably be the last one, unless I divert my attention from my current stories. And, sorry if this one's a little jumbled. It made sense in my head.

ALSO, please check out the poll on my profile page. I'd like to know what stories people are enjoying the most, so if you take the time to vote, I can better gauge that.

* * *

_"Jesus take the wheel,_

_Take it from my hands,_

_'cause I can't do this on my own._

_I'm letting go,_

_So give me one more chance,_

_And save me from this road I'm on._

_Jesus take the wheel."_

_-Carrie Underwood_

"Peaches, sorry I'm late." Penelope slid into JJ's hospital room. Noticing the puffy red bags surrounding JJ's eyes, she inquired quickly, "Is everything okay?" Garcia smiled warmly as she flopped down into the cold chair beside JJ's hospital bed.

"I'm fine." JJ bit her lip as her voice trembled slightly as she valiantly fought to control her own emotions. Hearing the hitch in her own voice, she cursed herself for letting her emotions get the best of her, _again._

Garcia sat silently for a minute, unsure of how to call JJ's bluff. It had been difficult to see JJ begin to come to terms with the result of the accident-especially as she shut out everyone who tried to help her. But right now, Garcia knew she had nothing to offer other than a shoulder to cry on. Throwing her arms around the blonde, she hugged JJ while JJ fought quietly to control her own emotions.

JJ struggled to keep the familiar tears at bay. If she started crying now, she might not be able to do this.

"Jayje, it's going to be okay." Penelope assured her hopefully, ignoring JJ's feeble attempt to hide her true emotions. "You're alive, that's all that matters."

JJ shrugged, leaning back against the familiar starched hospital sheets. "I'll tell you what," JJ whispered conspiratorially as she tried to change the subject away from the serious matter that weighed so heavily against her, "I can't wait to get out of this hospital. I'm going stir crazy."

"How are you doing?" Garcia asked, rubbing JJ's knee though she knew the other woman couldn't even feel the pressure on her now useless leg. "And none of this _'I'm fine'_ garbage. This is you and me, Sweet Cake. How are you _really_?"

JJ laughed mirthlessly, "I have no feeling beneath my waist and my boyfriend is currently making our house 'handicap friendly' so I can go home—all the while, trying to deal with our two year old." She bit down the emotions that rose within her.

"So you're doing great." Penelope joked sarcastically, though JJ could easily see the pity behind her eyes. That pity felt like it cut her more deeply than any surgical knife ever could have.

"Don't." JJ waved her hand, fighting the familiar set of emotions she had been dealing with. "Don't pity me. I don't want your pity." She insisted forcefully.

"I don't pity you." Penelope assured her, "I'm just so sorry this happened."

"Liar." JJ smirked as tears brimmed in her eye. Leave it to Penelope to say all the right things at exactly the right time.

Penelope chuckled softly, wiping away the tears that had collected in her eyes.

JJ shrugged, and forced herself to focus on the one bright spot of this entire situation in a hope to alleviate the grave somberness that she could feel tugging at her heartstrings. "I'm just lucky nothing happened to Henry." She sighed gratefully, praising God for the protection of her son. "If something had happened to Henry-I'm just glad he's okay."

"Oh, Jayje." Penelope's eyes watered as she tried to hold back the tears. "When I got the call—I was so worried."

JJ smirked sardonically, "You couldn't have been any more worried than I was. When they pried the car open and they asked me if I could move my feet—I knew-" She let her voice trail off as she lost herself in the memory of that cold night in Pennsylvania.

Garcia bit her lip for a moment, trying to decide what to say next. "What did the doctor's say?" She settled on.

JJ gulped at the lump in her throat, trying once again to control her roller coaster of emotions, "I'm never going to walk again."

"I'm so sorry." Penelope's eyes brimmed with tears.

"I don't want to talk about it Pen." JJ waved away her friend's tears.

"Okay." Penelope agreed, wiping away the excess water from her eyes. "But just know that I'm here."

JJ smiled gratefully, "Who knows, maybe this is a new chance." She agreed, silently wondering in what universe being confined to a wheelchair would warrant a new chance. But she had already spent far too much time crying over her new state. She needed to stay positive, and if appealing to her own weird sense of humor was what would keep her from breaking down into tears _again_, she would do what she needed to.

"Sure." Penelope tried unsuccessfully to hold back the devestation that seemed to weigh her down at the thought of JJ's new disability.

Shaking her head at her own inner dialogue, JJ placed a comforting hand covering Penelope's hand that was on her own knee. "And I guess this is just one of those times where I just have to let go and try out this new road I'm on."

Penelope nodded, "But you're not going to have to do it alone. I'll be here for you."

"Pen, I'm never going to work again." JJ admitted, softly biting her own lip.

"So? There are plenty of people who don't work for the FBI—newsflash JJ" Garcia's eyes were kind though she smirked teasingly, "Most people don't work for the FBI."

"Most people don't need a wheelchair." JJ pointed out, not wanting to wallow in her own self-pity, but too exhausted and doped up on pain killers to be able to censor herself.

"Well look at you, finding ways to be different." Penelope smirked, leaning back in her chair. Though the situation was dire, at least JJ still had her sense of humor. At JJ's slight chuckle, Penelope felt her spirits soar. While none of this would ever be right again, everything just might turn out okay.

JJ smirked and shrugged still chuckling at Penelope's comment, "I can tell you one thing, I'm not getting behind the wheel of a car anytime soon."

Penelope smiled, "I think the rest of us can handle that."


End file.
